Freddie, Fannie, and AIG

Dear Mr. and Mrs. US Government,

I think it’s admirable that you are helping all these poor corporations in their times of need. Just a few years ago these same corporations showed how much heart they had and bail me out. They didn’t even care that I had just come out of bankruptcy and had lots of credit problem. I just told them how much money I made (I made it up I really didn’t make that much) and they gave me a mortgage. It certainly wasn’t my fault that we had bad credit, I had just made some decisions that turn out to be somewhat risky. Unfortunately those risky decisions turn on me, through no fault of mine, it really wasn’t my fault.

I remember back then fondly. I applied at an apartment complex and was turned down because of my bad credit but the nice lady there told me that I should buy a home. She said that buying a home didn’t require the same high standards for credit, job stability, or income that apartment complexes had. So I went to a large builder in town, they hooked me up with their lender and WOW I moved into my new home.

These guys really helped me out back then. Now they did charge me a high interest rate, it was like 9% on the first mortgage and like 13% on the second but I didn’t have to put any money into the home. This was really helpful when home prices took a dive because I didn’t lose anything when I gave the home back.

Yes, I am suing them now because I don’t remember them telling me about the ARM rate increasing, the pre-payment penalty, or how much my payment would increase when the rate went up and property taxes kicked in. It really wasn’t fair. I was naive and I do not have a history of making poor decision.

I have made most of my decisions by watching what you do. I noticed that when you want something you don’t care if you can afford it. You go ahead and buy it and worry about paying for it later. I think that really works well for me. I’m not sure how you do it but you always seem to have the money to pay for everything. It’s like you print the stuff. I wish I could do that.

Sorry I’ll get back on track. I applaud you for bailing out these guys. You are showing you really care about. It’s not there fault they’re in trouble; they were doped into putting their money into risky investments.

Take me for an example. Who would have thought that I wouldn’t be able to pay for my home? They didn’t know my income was half of what I said. They also couldn’t have known that after my bankruptcy I wouldn’t be able to pay my mortgage payments. They certainly couldn’t have seen home prices dropping. So I say bail em’ out.

Or, wait a minute, I have a better idea. Why don’t you take all that money and bail me and my cohorts out? You could pay off our mortgages we could stay in our homes and the money goes to the lenders. That would take care of the housing crisis, the liquidity crisis, and save many homeowners. Man I like that a lot better.

Yes! I say, “BAIL ME OUT”!

Sincerely,

Itsnot Mi Fault